Appreciating Small Successes To Help Heal Our Self Esteem

As humans I quite often think we have this nature where we are so often focused on what we consider our failures rather than focusing on our successes. Especially now, as a mum, I always feel like I have an endless list that I can never seem to get through and at the end of each day it’s easy for me to focus on all the things that I didn’t get around to doing that day, whether it be a small or a big task. Yet, I feel as though I am learning that the more we focus on what we don’t achieve the more that affects our self esteem and in turn we start to feel bad about ourselves and that makes us even less productive. There is a clear awareness for me, that is becoming more apparent that when we are in a place of happiness and celebration then our vibration is positively energised and that can be beneficial to us in a number of ways but i’ve come to notice that for me at least, it particularly helps me to be more creative and also I begin to become more solution based rather than feeling defeated by my problems.

So how can we keep that elevated spirit in order to maintain more productivity whilst at the same time not becoming overwhelmed by all the things that we feel we need to get done as well as making time for the things we want to get done. Well, it’s something that I have been practising for some time now and though I go through periods where I kinda forget my practise and begin to drown in deprecating thoughts about myself, I try and remember that the main thing is that we recognise when we are beginning to slump back into that thought pattern and simply learn to re-adjust our thoughts. So with that said, what I suggest we try and do when we start to think about the things we haven’t managed to get done whether that’s a simple house chore like polishing (because its not been done in 2 weeks) or whether that’s thinking about what we haven’t achieved financially or career wise or maybe even in relationships, for me, I try and focus my mind on what I have achieved instead. Because whether it feels like it or not we are actually achieving great and small successes everyday, It’s just sometimes we have this tendency to measure that success by either our own extreme expectations or the expectations that others have of us and we also have this tendency to compare our lives against the lives of others and I find when we slip into compare mode, we do this thing where we compare what we consider our failures with others perceived successes and that’s a shame because what that’s doing is self sabotaging, when really we should be celebrating our progress and our personal achievements.

So going back to re-adjusting our thoughts and any day when I am feeling frustrated that I didn’t get something done maybe for the second or third day in a row, I try and realign my focus onto what I did achieve. For an example maybe on a smaller day to day scale i’m feeling frustrated because I look down at our rug and see thats it really needs a vacuum and I’ve been meaning to get around to doing this for the last couple of days and instead of making myself feel bad about this I try and think about what required my time and energy that prevented me from completing this chore. Well, my daughter needed what spare time and energy I had today and I succeeded in giving her my time. I was present with her and I was able to be there and fulfil her needs and well, I’m proud of myself for that and maybe this can be my success because we can’t do everything in one day and reminding ourselves of that can help us gain some perspective.

I think my point is, for us to begin recognising our individual and personal successes in a way that we don’t compare or measure them against anything or anyone else and instead use them to build upon. For some people, success might look as simple as getting themselves up and out of bed in the morning even when they’re struggling mentally, emotionally or physically. Because recognising your own triumphs big and/or small, I think builds a greater motivation and can have a positive ripple effect on our self esteem and in our day to day lives. I think we have a lot of conditioning in society to hate ourselves and to envy others. We often value success as job titles, yearly income and school grades. Well, it’s time to change that and not just for us now but for the next generation also. Success can be absolutely defined by you, we need to stop seeking validation from others and I know this is hard because when are kids we are constantly being conditioned to please and impress our teachers and parents, learning to impress the people we look up to through our academia, constantly being given passess or fails regardless to whether our natural born gifts fit into society’s outdated curriculum. Maybe just maybe this is where our perception of success and failure begins but that doesn’t mean it can’t be changed. It can take a long time to shift years of conditioned thought patterning, so be patient with yourself.

I wonder if taking a moment to reflect upon our day to day achievements as well as our personal triumphs over the years might just help to bring a better balance to our self esteem. This I feel will serve as a reminder of what we have faced and what we have overcome and when we are reminded of our victories no matter how big or small, we should automatically feel good about ourselves and when we have that, we can use that as momentum to go and achieve and cultivate even more accomplishments in our life. I often like to look back to remind myself of the things I have now that I could only dream of then. Scenarios that may seem normal to some because they were born with that on their side but for me it was something I had to work towards.

I feel my main message is to stop giving yourself such a hard time and start celebrating all that you are and all that you have already succeeded in and in all that you will go on to succeed in. I felt compelled to write about this today and maybe it was guided because someone needed to read it.

Sending you love and light,

Daniella x


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