Happy Monday, After a busy week last week, that included meeting with an old friend, seeing family and then celebrating my birthday on thursday (photos will hopefully follow soon), followed by some unexpected drama on Friday morning (all good now) and then going out for lunch with my love to my favourite local restaurant that same Friday, which we haven’t been to since 2019 (thanks to covid) and so needless to say I am ready for a slightly quieter week. Though, I never like things too quiet, I definitely need a very good balance between quiet time at home and going out and doing things.
These photos were taken on a beautiful weekend back in June and When I was editing these photos, I unexpectedly found myself getting a little emotional. I guess when we look back at photos, it’s not unusual to mentally travel back to that moment in time and when I was looking at these photos it reminded me that I was feeling such immense freedom, happiness and contentment that afternoon/early evening and going through the photos bought me back to that feeling and those emotions. This found me feeling a little overwhelmed because when I think of the peace, contentment and happiness I feel right now with my family, I find myself questioning how I even got here.
I look back and I feel that everything I have been through, the chronic illness, the upbringing I had, the example that was set for me in how a man treats a woman, I often have to pinch myself with how fortunate i’ve been in my relationship, having my beautiful daughter and my family life in general. It’s almost miraculous but it’s important to state, that though I am sure that God has had his part in bringing harmony to my life even though it seems as though the odds were stacked against me, I must say that this life didn’t just fall into my lap and it isn’t just sheer luck of the draw. To get to where I am now took almost two decades of challenges, mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s taken a lot of faith, looking at myself and doing a huge amount of inner work and figuring out how to change the generational patterns.
I have had to learn how to trust, how to let go, how to have unwavering faith in what I can’t see or know. And as happy and as grateful as I am for the abundance of love, happiness and family I currently have and feel in my life right now, my past still has a way of reeking havoc in my mind, there is still a long way to go with my mental health and the debilitating fears that have tormented me for years but really come to a head in the last 6 months because ironically when i’m at my happiest, the fears are at their worst. I am working a progress and I know that, but I try and take each day as it comes.
I talk about this, not to gloat but to let anyone know who may be reading this, that if you’re currently in a physically or mentally challenging space that feels like you’re never going to get out of, or that happiness feels like it’s only for the lucky ones, please know that even though it feels like that now, it can and will change!
Have faith, visualise a better future for yourself, work on your self worth and remind yourself that you are just as worthy as anyone else is to be living a life that is happy, healthy and peaceful. Whilst I believe that god, the universe has its own divine timing and things can suddenly just shift, it also takes us to move with the energy, we have to be brave enough to take action too. We might have to step out of our comfort zone and face our fears or confront a person who has been holding us back or abusing us verbally, mentally or physically ( please do so safely with professional help) and though this can feel incredibly scary, it’s taking that step and making a start to changing your life for the better. It’s might not come quickly and easily, the path may be long but don’t loose faith because you will get there.
sending you so much love and light,