I am so happy to share these photos with you today, they were taken a little while back now, when Nova-Rose and I were twinning for the day. There are some people who have a plan on how they’re going to raise their children but for me, there are still a lot of things I’m not certain of and though I’m someone who likes to contemplate these things, ultimately until the situation arises I try not to stress and will simply follow my intuition when the time comes. I think having things too planned out can be troublesome, we never know what direction life is going to take us in, sometimes it can take us on an unexpected turn (good or bad) and with children, I think, though like adults they have behavioural traits in common, I also think, like adults, that they are all so wonderfully unique individuals too and so trying to impose our black and white ideals on what we think is the correct parenting approach, may be a little short sited.
That’s why I am love getting to know Nova, Studying her development and applying what I intuitively feel to what I logically know and then acting accordingly. Sometimes though, we have to act quickly and for me that means relying on some old school, conditioned reactions, which sometimes leaves me feeling like I could have dealt or responded to said situation better! But I am also trying to be balanced in thinking that as parents we can’t always beat ourselves up over every little action. What we can do though is recognise how we felt after and try to change the outdated behavioural patterning whilst moving forward into the future.
It’s like I don’t even know what I’m going to do when it comes to nursery and schooling because though I think it can be great for learning social interaction, I also have a lot of reservations with the educational system as a whole, as I believe it to be incredibly outdated and is lacking in a progressive approach to education. I know that’s probably an unpopular opinion with most people but it’s simply how I feel. I don’t judge teachers in the slightest, there are probably a lot of teachers who would love to see change too. I know the rebuilding of a long standing educational system would take a lot of time, money and letting go of information, rules and regulations that have been dominant for decades and people in general don’t like change, it fears them and so that in itself would be a challenge. The re-structure would be undoubtedly huge but i believe it needs to happen, whether it will in my lifetime is another story!
I guess what I’m saying is that I would be uncomfortable with putting my little girl into a system that I don’t think is always the best option and I know we are lucky to be part of a country that provides education for our kids and I know I probably sound like an ungrateful know-it-all but it comes from a place of love, care and wanting the best for my daughter. I don’t know, school is way into the future and I might feel differently when the the time comes. So for now I won’t worry about that and instead I will trust the process and trust that when the time comes, we as her parents will hopefully know what to do for the best.
I know that the perfect parent doesn’t and will never exist, because a lot of the time we are just using what we’ve learnt and the perceptions we’ve gained to teach and guide our kids. And we often try an overcompensate for what we felt we lacked during childhood and for instance: it’s okay if we felt we didn’t have enough one on one time with our parent/parents and so we take extra care to make sure that we have good quality time spent with our kids but to also remember moderation because our childhood isn’t their childhood. We should seek to be conscious of not overcompensating because of a chip that we still choose to carry.
Parenting is not simple In the slightest, we are likely going to give them some sort of complex no matter how much we try and avoid it but that doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying our best and recognising that we can learn from them as much as they learn from us. It’s okay that we question ourselves from time to time (shows we care) but it’s also okay to trust yourself too. I’m sorry if I went a deep here today, that’s just me and that’s why I wanted this blog to reflect my soulful thoughts/feelings as much as my personal style and sartorial interests.
Sending you love and light for the week ahead,