How People In Our Lives May Be Effecting Our Self Esteem

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The other day After spending a small amount of time with my dad I was thinking/reflecting on a few things. During that time, I had given him a photo of Nova-Rose and he critiqued the photo because half her head had been cut off in the shot and you know it was kinda down the lines of “didn’t I teach you to take better photos”! Don’t worry I’m not crying over that comment by any means, he thanked me for the photo which is kinda huge for him and I recognise and appreciate and that, so it’s all good. What I’m really wanting to reach out and talk about is that sometimes we have people in our lives that are quite often influential to our emotional state and our self belief system. Some of those influential people are family members or friends and they may influence you in a positive way by encouraging you to pursue what makes you happy or by guiding you (with love) away from situations that might not benefit your wellbeing and so on. But you might also find that there are some people In your circle who will always have something negative or critical to say and quite often it will seem as though it’s always during a time when you’re sharing something of a happy nature or a creative pursuit. When you find that this person gives you their critique or a negative passing comment over and over again it can really start to knock your confidence and especially if you’re a child growing up in this dynamic.

 

 

 

Because when it comes from someone you love, admire or care for it can hurt and potentially deter you from doing what lights you up inside. It’s like what they have to say has more truth to it then What we know and feel inside, we doubt ourselves and trust them because our self esteem is low. I think the more we seek that persons approval, the more likely we are to take their words to heart. And this is where the healing comes in and where my own personal healing has come to serve me now. For years I was affected by negative comments from people I cared about and especially my dad because I always just wanted him to be proud of me! I would take any criticism from almost anyone and believe it was a true reflection of my character and I would try and keep changing until I got it right but not right for me but right for what suited them.

A few years ago i started healing the brokenness of my self esteem and my self worth and began truly working towards loving and accepting myself flaws and all, I changed my outlook and no longer did I seek the approval from my dad and people alike. No longer did I care so much about the judgment and perceptions of how others viewed me and my choices and what began to matter was how I viewed myself. If I do something that I feel happy and proud of, that’s what matters, if I do something authentically and with a pure heart then anyone doubting that is just a projection of their own downfalls. Now I am finally in a place where no longer do I get anywhere near as affected by low vibrational and unnecessary remarks. I have come to terms that some people just aren’t as healed as others and some hang ups stay with them in where they feel by putting you down they are lifting themselves higher.

 

I don’t judge them for it, as it’s usually a result of an insecurity that was formed through a hurtful situation and though that doesn’t excuse such critical and negative behaviour and it certainly doesn’t  it mean you have to tolerate it in your life but it might help you understand the reason for negative traits such as that. If someone continually criticises you in a way that feels unnecessarily hurtful even if it’s just in passing or done passive aggressively, let it wash over you and choose to stand strong in the knowledge that it’s a them thing not a you thing. That it is a reflection of their Own self worth, not yours and so keep rising up.

They May even be envious that you are embracing your creativity and it reminds them that they haven’t and so they try and put you down and if you struggle with low self esteem, then you’ll believe it. They may even have control issues and if you chose a path that they didn’t want for you, then again this might be why they try and make you feel bad about your path. You can’t force people to approve of who you are or what you do and there’s no point trying to change who you are in an attempt to feel accepted by them because people like this usually don’t accept themselves internally despite how self assured they may appear and so they’ll probably never accept you. This is okay though because you didn’t come to this world to live a life through other people’s ideals you came to here to be you and share your uniqueness with the world just as you are, I know that can seem scary if you don’t have the self belief to feel and relate to that right now but if you make the steps to love and accept yourself a little bit more each day then hopefully you will understand my previous statement sooner then you thought possible.
Sending you love and light and healing in whatever capacity you are seeking it,
 Daniella x

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