Today I wanted to talk about my experience with breast feeding. When I first found out I was pregnant I was adamant that I wanted to breast feed for the first six months but as I got closer to having our little angel, reality hit and I wasn’t so sure. What a commitment that would be, was I being naive to how challenging breast feeding could potentially be?! Also, I have time tits, would they even make the cut?! There is this undeniable sense of pressure to breast feed, I can’t say that this was imposed on me though by anyone other then myself.
But in the end before having Nova-Rose, I decided that what will be, will be and that I wasn’t going to act from a place of guilt or unnecessary self imposed pressure and instead, I would see how I felt once I had her. I thought I would give breast feeding a try and if it works and I feel completely confident doing so then great and if not, then oh well and at least I tried.
As it turned out, from the get go I took to breast feeding really well, as did Nova-Rose which I was very grateful for. Even though I was happy with this, I still felt it was important to keep it in the back of my mind that I can stop at any time and switch to bottle feeding if I felt it was getting too much, as it was this mentality that made me feel like I was wanting to breast feed rather then feeling forced to breast feed. I didn’t know how breast feeding was going to effect me but I overall I found it in ways very bonding for me and my baby. There is an undeniable closeness not just physically but emotionally too and I guess I have heard mums say this before but now I actually understand it.
I love this aspect of it but it also can be very tiring and draining. I also found it to be challenging when going out. I know one shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed and I honestly didn’t feel this but that part of breast feeding just wasn’t for me.
When Nova-Rose was around 3-4 weeks I was finding that I just wasn’t able to produce what she was needing, yep my boobs couldn’t keep up with the supply and demand! She was getting frustrated, I was feeling bad that I couldn’t keep up with her growing appetite and I was starting to feel like I was letting her down. I realised I had to make a change and started to alternate her feeds between breast and bottle until the breast feeding naturally came to an end.
Though from a health standpoint I wish I could have had a bit longer with the breast feeding, I will say it is much easier overall with the bottle. With the breast, it was a lot pressure on me and me alone but with the bottle, her dad can take over or my family memebers can, which certainly helps from time to time.
My advice if you’re pregnant and wondering what path to take, it is to simply not put any pressure on yourself either way! Because if you do this you’ll stress yourself out and that’s no good for you or your baby. When the time comes you’ll instinctively know what route to take just have faith in trust yourself and what will be, will be. Don’t feel guilty or pressured by your fearful thoughts or the thoughts of others. Everyone’s experience is their own, even mine. Just do you because if you do that then you’ll be a lot more at peace and when you’re at peace your baby is too.
Sending you love and light today and every day,